Recap: Apocalypse! 1

WARHAMMER 40k 6th Ed Battle Report
A guest post from Scumcleaner describing the apocalyptic battle that recently took place. 5000 points, 2 players a side (mini-apocalypse!).
Tau (Luke) allied with Eldar (G$)
Tyranids (DG) allied with Tyranid Cultists (Imperial Guard played by Scumcleaner)
The battle royale went ahead without a hitch! Everybody here, armies at the ready, snacks laid on and coke to fill our bellies…
Pregame saw the typical trash talk, which resulted in G$ and Luke confidently claiming they could set up in 11 seconds! (DG and I chose 2 minutes) Challenge accepted!
half an hour, and 2 glasses of coke later, they finished their setup. DG and I finished ours in just over a minute.
So, while Luke paced his side of the table and predicted doom and gloom, claiming that the close proximity of the biotitan spelt the end of their entire force, DG and I attempted to seize the initiative and prove him right.
Not to be…
Turn one saw a hail of shooting at the biotitan, as almost the entire Taudar force emptied their mags into the biotitan, killing it in its first turn. A combination of D-weaponry and wraithcannon shots quickly put paid to 10 wounds. Luckily for DG we were playing the old regenerate rules and this was not to be the end, and she would rise again at the beginning of the next turn with 3 wounds regenerated. A shot from the Eldar Lynx saw 2 structure points off the baneblade, and both void shields robbed from the Warhound. A good first turn put the Taudar in a commanding position.
The Cultnids (DG and I) replied with a mass of firepower from the biotitan, shooting 8 str10 attacks at the TauTitan and another 8 at the pesky wraithguard. Maddeningly, the shots pinged off the Tau shield for the most part, although one structure point was lost as the titan was reduced to half movement. Over the other side of the table, DG tried spawning termegants but only succeeded in spawning 3 models and drying up her birthing canal! I opened up with the Warhound and the secondary weaponry of the baneblade at various targets, killing several eldar and Tau, and reducing the Lynx to half movement. The manticore chimed in from far down field and killed 2 broadsides in a rare display of marksmanship. In what was to be a telling mistake, I forgot to fire the baneblades primary weapon, and the 10” blastmarker was never to see the table…
Lunch break after turn one, with the perfect amount of pizza and chat, and we soon got back to work. In the reserves phase, Luke got the bad news that his reserves had been waylaid and would be arriving down the total opposite end of the table. Sad Luke, but the frown wasn’t to last long. The Tau titan was keen to capitalise on the biotitans inability to destroy it last turn and quickly fired it’s Ultra Ion cannon in the face of the tyranid monstrosity. A railgun for back up saw the titan fall again, and this time regenerate saw it return next round with only 1 wound. Could it do enough damage to justify it’s points before it died? Next turn would be a charge so there was a good chance. G$’s eldar sought to capitalise as well, having wounded both my superheavies last round, they were feeling cocky… and with good reason. A round of pulsar shooting put the last wound on the baneblade and KABOOM!! G$ rolled a 6 on the damage table. Cataclysm! The explosion took out my techpriest, some tyranids, my psyker and Ogre squad and their chimaera. It also took 2 structure points off the Warhound, which proved too tempting a target for the Lynx, and the last structure point was removed from the Warhound. KABOOM AGAIN!! G$ rolls a 6 and the titan explodes 6D6 inches with a D weapon effect!! Masses of Tau, some eldar and Tyranids all vanished from the battlefield in a blaze of light and heat! 1250 points total gone in a heartbeat, with the 2 cult superheavies removed from the game.
Team Cultnids was reeling, looking at the measly forces left to us and wondering how we would pull this off…
But we pulled up our bigboy pants and got on with it. The bio titan pointed one weapon at the Tau titan, another at the hammerhead, and opened up. Both fell to the massed living globules of ammo from the massive bioweapons, leaving a lone wraithlord quaking at the feet of the tyranid monstrosity. Needless to say, the monster charged it and removed it from the game.  No reserves came on for the cultists as their pilot saw incoming tracerfire and thought better of dropping his important passengers into such a hot battlezone (delayed for one round), but the doom of Malantai made it’s much needed appearance. having to arrive on the other side of the board from DG’s synapse creatures, and try and live on it’s own. With only one casualty from the AOE attack, that was looking unlikely.
Turn 3 saw the appearance of the Tau plane, and Luke’s commander. The disruption beacon foiled his commander’s attempt to deepstrike and he would be held back another turn while he looked for a more suitable landing site, all the other deepstrikers had no problem getting past the interference, however. Luke, using the squad that had been waylaid last turn (and whom he assured us would do nothing all game because of it) pointed their fusion guns at the ankles of the biotitan… and cut them down from under her. They had found her achilles heel!! No successful regenerate this turn, and down she would stay. Crisis averted by… crisis suits…
G$ was running out of targets by now and spent the turn running from the doom of Manantai, popping pulsar blastmarkers over tyranids in an attempt to wipe them out, lots of saves from DG limited the damage somewhat. The Doom sucked a lot of souls, however, and made up for last round, quickly getting up to 10 wounds.
Team Cultnids finally got the reinforcements they so desperately needed, with the 2 cult vendettas arriving.  DG bought Deathleaper into the fray, but allowed him to disappear this turn to move him into better position next. The Lord commisar and his veteran squad tried a gravchute insertion from their zooming flyer … success!! perfect landing and no casualties from the dangerous terrain test! Landing 6 inches from the nearest Tau unit, the lord Commisar primed his vortex grenade and sent it flying. Tau and building disappeared into the warp, as the vortex opened at their feet, and several Tau also lost their lives to the collapsing terrain. Score one for the Cultnids, we were back, baby! The second vendetta zoomed up to the tau flyer, and vector locked it with concentrated Lascannon fire, whilst the vendetta that dropped the Commisar lived up to it’s name and executed a vendetta on the crisis suits, killing 2 and sending the 3rd running. The right hand of the board had completely changed hands, and now belonged to the Cultnids, whilst the left hand side now belonged almost completely to the Taudar.
Turn 4 now, and Luke was beginning to pace again, and moan loudly that the game was lost. Mostly this was from the Doom of Malantai thumbing it’s tentacles in his face, and the borked nature of flyers. Of course, his flyer was vector locked and flying off the table slowly, so I sympathise with him… in retrospect though Luke, I’m not sure they have to go straight ahead, I think it’s only the speed that is locked not the steering. Mind U, it’s new to the Tau force, so they might have had to work a few kinks out first. The Taudar kept running from the Doom, and peppering it with shots as they went. The Doom just kept up like a boss, and kept saving those 3+ invulnerable saves. On the other side of the table, Luke’s commander came down and pointed guns at the flyer, while the titan and Lynx had to look for other targets due to the snapshot rule for flyers. DG had half of his command squad destroyed by them, but Malantai emerged unscathed again! Luke attempted to hit the flyers, but his shots went awry. The vortex stayed on the table, and moved a little towards the building, the Tau now making a lovely target for the Lord Commisar in his turn…
and shoot them he did, but not until the vortex moved for our phase, and moved the perfect distance and direction to reappear right on the Tau commander’s head! Poor guy never caught a break all game. One vendetta went to hovermode and strafed the Eldar titan, taking it’s last structure point and removing it from play, whilst the other one scored another hit on the Lynx whilst zooming along. The Hive tyrant attempted to get close enough to charge the Tau, but this was not to be, whilst deathleaper appeared on an objective in our deployment zone, where the bulk of the Tau were heading. The Doom on Malantai headed out of terrain in search of more souls to eat, and directly into the sights of the Eldar Wraithseer. With 10 wounds, what could go wrong? A veteran squad consolidated onto the Taudar deployment zome objective, looking very comfortable to take it uncontested. At this point, It would have been a win for the Cultnids.
Turn 5, possible last turn. the Taudar had to wrinkle deathleaper out of a heavily defended spot, where he enjoyed a 2+ cover save and run into the jaws a Tyrant to claw back the draw. A squad of firewarriors headed off to do just that, hoping that a Lynx could take down the tyrant, and that the Spiritseer could keep the Doom from wiping out the valiant defenders. A lot depended on dice at this point…
The Lynx was as good as it’s word, and wiped out the tyrant, but the spiritseer was to fail on both shooting and attacking the Doom (‘bloody 3+ save’ was heard from under Luke’s beard frequently). At least the Spirit seer would hold the Doom there and stop him from eating the dire avengers who were holding an objective. The massed firepower of the Taudar could not kill Deathleaper, but the farseer succeeded in hypnotising him into inaction so he could not attack back. Seeing this as a win-win, the Tau got set to charge, figuring that if he couldn’t hit back then their measly hand to hand skill would be OK. Alas, they ALL failed their charge due to Deathleapers difficult terrain special rule, and the tyranid would stay there to contest the objective.
In the Cultnid turn, the vortex continued to move erratically but challenge no one else, and the veteran squad held the objective. The Vendetta finished off the Lynx and turned to contest the centre objective if there was another turn, hoping that the spiritseer would continue to fail in it’s attempt to kill the Doom. The other vendetta moved to kill off the Tau sitting on the centre objective and killed all but one, staying in hover mode so it could contest this round. The Lord commisar ran to chip in at the centre. The combat between the Doom and the spiritseer finally ended with the spiritseer getting one past the invulnerable save and insta-killing Doom. He consolidated towards the objective and reached 6” away, contesting the objective perfectly.
At this point, the game would have been a draw.
An impartial (but possibly bribed: ED) bystander rolled the dice, there would be another turn…
Turn 6 and 7 went predictably quickly.
The spiritseer shot the vendetta on the centre objective and stood in the open, claiming the objective, but looking at the second vendetta coming it’s way. Deathleaper died this turn to massed firepower and the Tau took the objective here. Luke forgot the lone firewarrior hidden with his camogear just outside the objective range in the centre.
Left with only the vendetta and the command squad to take the centre objective and even the score, we moved the units towards the objective and killed the spiritseer. At this point it would be a draw again…
but said Impatial Bystander rolled another turn.
7th and final turn was the deathknell for the Cultnids, with the vendetta stunned and immobilised by crisis suit fire, and the command veterans becoming pinned to the farseer.   The Taudar contested the centre objective with a combined force of tauwarrior and farseer… for the greater good, of course!
Final tally, DEATH, and lots of it. Only 2 units left on the table for the Cultnids and the Taudar won the day with a 2-1 victory!! If I got anything wrong I’m sorry, feel free to correct me.
Sorry U weren’t here, Matt, but we’ll make another day for this I’m sure… I know I for one enjoyed it.
Thanks fellas – next time we won’t go so easy on U!

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